inconsolable

I am up and down like and elevator but I think the elevator is in a mineshaft cause when I drop. I drop in a big way.
Today I awoke around noon my usual time for waking. I had candy colored dreams of going to the post office in the sunshine that was the early afternoon. I was going to send rays of sunshine to some of my friends in North America in the shape of care packages. Things to brighten up ones summer even more.
Then it happened mim called she told me she wanted to see me to talk about rent stuff. I was like all cool. Then some how my topic got onto my work and how I didn’t want to work there any more until they paid me for the last 5 months I had worked there. I am very shitty about this situation because basically that money would have me in Europe now kicking it with my friends. Instead I plod along saving shitty amounts. It is probably all my fault as I find it very hard to ring anybody especially if it means I have to confront them. I think I am meant to work there tomorrow but I am not sure. I feel taken advantage of for ever working for them.
So the day turned dark and I never left my room again. I sobbed for hours at my inability to get myself out of this mess. I am a complete emotional retard watching footloose to stop myself from doing something stupid to myself

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~ by abagash on July 7, 2008.

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