I want to be alone.
I just got a new flat mate the other day but I am seriously considering getting him to move out because I cant have anybody bear witness to the pain I am feeling now. I guess you would call me a proud person I don’t like people to see me weep unless I am really close to them. I thought I was strong again, after one of the darkest months of my life. But here I am again sinking deeper. I don’t know how to lift this weight that ties me to my bed. How do I stop this crippling fear of everything. I can smell the decay of my mind as it slowly seeps away from me. I want to hate everyone and everything but I am to afraid of what you might say.
As I sit in this darkened room I try to think of better times but again and again I am slapped with my memories of betrayal, pain and mistakes
Please make it stop

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~ by abagash on July 7, 2008.

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