a bloody big day

So here I lay with my puffy eyes sort of numb from the past couple of days. It is a mixture of highs and lows like any day is but Thursday was especially extreme.
So the sun starts to rise and I am lying on the couch trying to encode files so I can burn a DVD of the short film I just finished. There was a slight urgency in the air as there was a deadline (midday) to send it off to a film awards. So I was cutting it very fine. I was haggard from days of editing and no sleep and I was a little hung over from the celebration I had the night before at the pub. So the encoding is not going well either it makes the film jerky or if the encode does look good it will not work with my DVD encoding software. The sent of defeat is starting to waft in the air.
I talk to Mimi as she goes off to work about the problem she helps me view it in a new light and by ten o’clock things are on the right path it would seem. Time passes I wait finally I view the film “ok looks hot”. I try to import and the video file it is NTSC and I cant import into my pal project. Shit it is quarter to eleven so I re jig the encoding program and poof there we have it after half an hour a usable file. Yay I burn one off with glee it works. I try to burn another before the clients arrive at 12. I start to get a media errors, like the disks I am using are fucked. I try many disks on the spool to no avail.  I restart the computer just incase it need to be reset but no dice. By this time the clients are sitting in the lounge watching the film and I am still fumbling trying to get this second burn to work. It is dire and I am single minded in my attempts to make it work. Then an old friend of mine comes in demanding files because I had helped her with a backup a few weeks earlier she sees the people in the lounge I explain to her what we are doing. But she persists and pleads she needs the files there and then I say I can’t do it now wait a few minutes. Shit another disk fails. I am starting to lose it. She starts in to a story about how she is moving soon and some one needs the car and it all so urgent. Basically she makes herself like a fucking asshole in front of my clients. I break the disk SNAP it shatters. She won’t stop whining finally I have to say to her in a raised tone. “I am with a client k!” (Name omitted due to legal advice).
Finally she leaves and I apologize to the client. I reach for another spool of DVDs and as if by magic it works. I have passed. the job is done and the client is happy but I am quite pissed off with my friend for making me look like a dick when I was finishing a job.
I got a call in all that madness that my new Mac had arrived at the local Mac store. So I hobble up to store getting coffee on the way to spur me on. I get home and wig out in geek bliss about this new item of glory. I get online and type wearily to friends about the day lulling in and out of consciousness. Quite happy that it is all done and I have survived.
So then Mimi gets home and she has been quite stressed I had built a camp out of cushions and a mattress under the trees out the back so we could lie there together when she got home. I wanted to help her chill out and I had felt a little distant during the edit.
So where there lying reading listening to jazz (bill Evans) on the new computer. I am completely blissed out. She asks me about the conquests of the day. I tell her and feel all the better that it is over. Then it happens she drops the bomb.
She speaks to me about how she thinks it is over between us and how we have to break up so she does not end up resenting me. I sit quite gob smacked and inner panic starts to roll. Thoughts of how, where, when and why engulf me. She talks of how much she loves and respects me but it is over. I feel it had been in the mail for a few years but our bond as partners in crime had kept us locked together supporting each other and giggling all they way through. It had been amazing and I had imagined it going on much longer. It ended so peacefully no shouting, no bickering just an understanding that showed how we worked together at our best.
So finally I fell asleep on my couch to dream and process what the fuck just happened I was now a film maker and single…

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~ by abagash on March 28, 2008.

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